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Military Jokes

Military Humor

21 hours 32 minutes ago

Military Humor added a new photo.

Military Humor

21 hours 32 minutes ago

Military Humor added a new photo.

Military Humor

1 day 4 hours ago

Here’s a short extract from my book... “Army Barmy.” A satirical look at life in the British Army in the 1970's 80’s
They both peered into Wocko’s, locker, all they could see was a giant black bin liner full of festering clothes.
“Where is all your kit, Watkinson?”
“In the bag Sir, that’s my dirty washing for the laundrette, washdays not until tomorrow sir.”
The Sergeant and Platoon commander looked at each other in disbelief. Sgt Billings then peeled one of Wocko’s socks off his locker door with his pace stick and held it up.
“You missed something, it looks like it’s trying to f**king escape.”
“So that’s what the smell is!” said Wocko

The PC looked disgusted; Sgt Billings’ nose was now one millimetre away from Wocko’s face.
“You are a f*****g disgrace to the regiment solider. Sgt Billings started to raise his voice.
I bet you if I threw this sock out of the window it would start eating the f*****g grass? It ‘s f*****g alive, you are a walking f*****g disease…”
"Excuse me Sergeant, but I really don't appreciate you raising your voice around me. I find it most rude, and it hurts my feelings."
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!
“Show Parade tonight.”
“I’m already on Show Parade tonight, Sir.”
Sgt Billings stopped in his tracks.
“Okay, tomorrow night then, smart arse.”
“And tomorrow night Sir. In fact, I’m fully booked up for the rest of the week. I could look in my diary and see when I’m next available Sir!”
Sgt Billings realised he was getting nowhere.
“Shut up. I give up with you Watkinson. If we ever go to war, just make sure you’re next to me, the enemy would run a f*****g mile, if they smelt you coming.

UK Available on Amazon kindle £1.99 or free on kindle unlimited)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Army-Barmy-Revised-Clive-Ward-ebook/dp/B0131B3736

US Available on Amazon kindle $2.87 or free on kindle unlimited
http://www.amazon.com/Army-Barmy-Revised-Clive-Ward-ebook/dp/B0131B3736/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1456196765&sr=8-3&keywords=army+barmy

AU Available on Amazon kindle $4.11 or free on kindle unlimited https://www.amazon.com.au/Army-Barmy-Revised-Clive-Ward-ebook/dp/B0131B3736/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1468860414&sr=1-5&keywords=army+barmy

Military Humor

1 day 4 hours ago

CRACK and THUMP ....would you?

Military Humor

1 day 4 hours ago

Military Humor added a new photo.

Military Humor

1 day 19 hours ago

Would not surprise me

Military Humor

1 day 21 hours ago

Military Humor added a new photo.

Military Humor

2 days 1 hour ago

Genius

Military Humor

2 days 3 hours ago

Tank biathlonThe bizarre new sport


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7



The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’
Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’
OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’
Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know…
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,’ Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, ‘Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.’

Stinky Pinkys Girls Of Wonder

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

12 hours 32 minutes ago

~Stinky Pinky~

J.D.

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

1 day 12 hours ago

~Stinky Pinky~

~ SJ

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

1 day 12 hours ago

~Stinky Pinky~

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

1 day 21 hours ago

~Stinky Pinky~

~ SJ

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

2 days 3 hours ago

Dezire~

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

2 days 3 hours ago

Dezire~

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

2 days 18 hours ago

Dezire~

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

2 days 19 hours ago

Dezire~

Stinky Pinky's Girls of Wonder

2 days 19 hours ago

Dezire~